In this first season to be released, I ended up modelling the Smoke and White Noise collection for a variety of reasons, and it was a really interesting experience.
I am a shy person. When people ask what I do, I blush and sputter before being able to say that I'm a lingerie designer. I don't like getting my picture taken. I've struggled a lot in the past couple of years with body image. So, getting up in front of a camera in undergarments to have pictures taken for the internet was not an easy thing for me.
But it ended up being a good thing.
A huge part of that credit goes to the photographer that I was working with, Adrian Wagner. He was encouraging, professional, and new how to bring out the best in each of us. The other lion's share of the credit goes to the wonderful women I was working with, my fellow model's and an assistant. I don't think I've ever felt so much that I was in a safe, judgement free space, where we were all supporting each other. I have had the feeling of amazing support from peers and friends before many times, but this was different. I think it was about being there, in lingerie, doing something that was so far out of my comfort zone that made it so much more vulnerable for me. That made the acceptance and positivity from my colleagues ever the more valuable.
In the almost two months following the photoshoot, my negative thoughts about my body have nearly disappeared. I feel comfortable in my own skin in a way that I didn't always. And it feels so good.
Of course, I will not be modelling next season. Trying to model and direct at once is too difficult! But I am very glad to have done so this time.